


The Sound of War

by YourLocalPriestess



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, it's during the final battle so you knowwww there's a smidge of angst, it's zaeed i mean c'mon, lots of swearing, set in me3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 08:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13807401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourLocalPriestess/pseuds/YourLocalPriestess
Summary: When tasked with heading his own squad in the final push toward the Crucible, Zaeed begins to doubt his ability to lead it in his own way. In an effort to confront Shepard on her choice, he faces more than he expected.





	The Sound of War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Junker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junker/gifts).



> Thanks for giving this prompt Junker. I had a lot of fun writing this <3

The sounds of war were familiar to Zaeed. Gunfire, screaming, the smell of sweat and ash and blood, orders half-heard in a haze of adrenaline and fear. He’d faced it in the Alliance –  _ with him _ – and he’d faced it when he was a merc –  _ alone _ . It wasn’t even unfamiliar to hear these sounds now, on earth. First Contact wasn’t  _ that _ long ago, and it was fucking messy. But now, on this night in the rubble that remained of London, his throat felt too tight when he swallowed, when looked at his squad; a group of kids, and they already looked half dead. He sighed and ran a hand over his face, and went back to cleaning Jessie.

“You ready, Massani?”

He looked up to find Shepard in all her battle regalia looming over him. She wasn’t wearing her usual smirk that hinted at something more than mischief. There was an ice in her eyes now, a kind of cold detachment that worried him; not that it was his business, anyway. He grunted and gave her an acknowledging nod.

“As mouthy as ever, I see.” A hint of that smirk teased at her lips, but it was a shadow of the feature he knew.

“Forgive me if giant sentient robots invading my planet doesn’t inspire conversation,” he grumbled, rubbing out a patch of dirt from the trigger.

“Fair enough,” she said, a mix of a sigh and a chuckle mingling with her words. “Your squad prepared?”

“Well enough.” He shot her a quick look. “I still think this is a shit idea.”

He didn’t need to look away from his work to know she was rolling her eyes. “We’re not hashing this out again. I already discussed it with command.”

That word shot a strike of heat up his back. He brought his face lower to Jessie, hoping the redness in his face remained hidden.

“Teams are set to go.” The hand on his shoulder made him look up. She was smirking again, genuinely; the first one he’d seen in months. “You can do this.”

He set lips together for a moment, then rumbled out and “Yeah.”

Shepard grinned at him before she walked away, and he wondered just how much of that confidence was honest.

Time passed differently on a battlefield, speeding and slowing in time with the adrenaline spikes and the gnawing fear of imminent destruction. It had only been fifteen minutes since Shepard’s little “pep talk,” but it felt like hours. He could feel his agitation growing, and it became evident when he snapped at one of the squad. No, he didn’t have orders for them. He didn’t have a strategy.  _ Shoot the goddamn things and don’t get killed. It’s not that complicated, kid.  _ But it was harsher than he meant it, and it wasn’t helping morale.

Goddammit, he wasn’t cut for this shit. There was a reason he left–

“I’ll be back in five.” He stood and marched out of the half destroyed building they’d holed up in, and then marched across the quad to the makeshift strategy room.

When he entered, multiple generals and admirals gave him a look of disdain he was all too familiar with. “Where’s Shepard?” he groused.

One of the admirals- Kovacs, he thought- nodded toward a room that was separated by a sheet of thick plastic. He huffed and pushed it aside.

“Shepard, I’m not–”

The words froze and died in his throat. Shepard offered him one raised eyebrow, her arm still raised in whatever gesture he’d interrupted. Next to her, Hackett straightened, slowly, professionally, and raised his chin slightly. The stubble that skirted outside of his goatee was more a sign as to how haggard the war had made him than the bags under his exhausted eyes.

Zaeed swallowed. “I’ll uh–”

“No.” Shepard shifted her hand and held it up to silence him, then glanced at the admiral. “We’ll talk more later?”

Hackett nodded once. That was all the leave Shepard needed, apparently, as she breezed by him without another word.

The plastic barely settled before Hackett spoke. “Well, I suppose–”

“You’re not supposed to be here.” He grit his teeth and looked at the floor before shaking his head and stepping closer, keeping his voice low. “You promised me you wouldn’t be here.”

Hackett visibly bristled, but didn’t back down.  _ Even raised his chin, salty bastard. _ “This is where I need to be, Zaeed.”

“Horseshit.” He spit to his left and turned back to the impossible man before him. “It’s going to be a goddamn shitshow in less than an hour. You need to be in the air.” He tilted his head above, toward the stars before adding quietly: “They’re going to need you alive when this is over.”

“And what? Leave you here?” Steven stepped closer, stepping beyond the professional boundary.

“Yes.”

Steven shook his head. “No. We’re here to end this war, together.”

“You are a goddamn nuisance.” He shoved him back lightly with one hand – petty physical bullshit had no place here. Not now. “Leave. I have enough to worry about down here without adding you to the list.”

Steven narrowed his eyes, and didn’t accept his bait. “You’re scared.”

“You’re goddamn right I am.” Zaeed allowed a fraction of the tension from his shoulders to slip away.  This was  Steven, afterall .  _ If there was ever a time _ … He ran a hand over his hair. “Just, do your ‘admiral’ shit and ship off. You’ll do nothing but wait here once we start, and you can wait just as well up there.”

Steven pulled him by the top of his chest piece and crushed their lips together. It was the first time they’d kissed anywhere close to public in…decades. Zaeed barely hesitated before he clasped the back of the other man’s neck and deepened the kiss, greedily taking whatever he would give.

When they broke apart, they were both breathless. Steven leaned his forehead against his and closed his eyes. “I’ll go,” he sighed, more than a little disgruntlement in the words. “But you have to promise to survive.” He looked at him then. “It doesn’t matter how, or who you leave behind. Survive.”

Zaeed nodded once and kissed him again, softer than before, but still insistent. “Fine.” He turned to go, and had only just begun to pull the plastic sheet back, when Hackett’s voice stopped him.

“Did you still need Shepard, Massani?”

There was the Admiral, returned to his rightful state. Zaeed smirked and shook his head once, then slipped out the door.

Turned out there was more than fear and adrenaline to motivate someone during war.

**Author's Note:**

> Eeee! I swear, one day I'll publish for more than just challenges, but that day is not today. I truly enjoyed writing this for you Junker. I've loved this pairing for a while, and this finally pushed me to write them! I hope you have enjoyed your SpecReq as much as I have ^_^ And thank you to potionsmaster for beta-ing! You're an angel <3
> 
> And of course, thank you for reading. You are a beam of light in a dark world and I appreciate you <3 Any comments/kudos/what-have-yous are appreciated ^_^


End file.
